so- the question of all questions came last night, he asked if i want to be with him! not sure he wants to be with me anymore.
We had a massive conversation about whats happened and he is not sure he can give me anything that i want. i told him that i am scared. it's hard coz i know that i have always wanted to be a mum at some point, but he has no feelings like that.
the more we talked, the more we went round and round in circles. though he did say that he always thought the babies would just happen (id be sick, pill wouldn't work etc) and it doesn't want to plan it!
This changed things- but i did point out that there would still have to be a decision somewhere along the line that we were ready!
so yet again we are back to square 1. he is concerned that he is holding me back from the things that i want in life- which to be honest it the first time he has actually admitted that!
He also called me lazy! this did not go down well. also making comments about how im overweight. way to make a girl feel special. he blames this as one reason why i am always tired. though i was quick to point out, i have always needed a lot of sleep... i just used to do it whilst he was at work!!!
so- not sure where we go from here. he has suggested that we could take a break from living together and it would force us to make more of an effort- but to be honest, that would just feel like we are going backwards.
so here we are... not quite knowing what to do next.... knowing that I love him with all my heart....
BUT I want to get married and have babies
x
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