life goes on

Its been a long time since i last posted. and just when i thought everything was going really well- and my new job has been ace... the bombshell!

wayne and me broke up. I think im still struggling to come to terms with that! even though it has been a month.
honestly figured we would be together for life. full on marriage and kids! and then out of the blue it is all over. a little bit gutted. well... totally destroyed. but what can i do? Im just trying to get on with my life... as best as is posssible.

May not be blogging anymore

new job, soooo busy

looking at the date of my last post, it was the last day working in my old job!

a lot has happened since then.

But i can't really be bothered to talk about it! lol

At last

So

this is it!

It all boils down to these last 4 hours!

OMG!

Seems like only yesterday I handed my notice in to get out of here, and now it is actually happening!

So- new job on Monday!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

they are not exactly breaking me in gently- im doing an overnight on my first day ah well- at least it will get it over with before i have to really think about it! :)

x

The Big 30!

My Friend (frostylocks) made this amazing cake for my boyfriends 30th! I asked for a colourful explosion and boy did she deliver!! it looks amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It also tastes as good as it looks as well! :) wooooooooooooooooooooo

Take That 2011

Everyone Loves a bit of Garry Barlow!!!!!!!!!!! :)

What an amazing concert!!! They were wonderful. and Robbie was awesome!!!!!! A once in a lifetime experience!!!!!!

my life is crashing around me

so- the question of all questions came last night, he asked if i want to be with him! not sure he wants to be with me anymore.

We had a massive conversation about whats happened and he is not sure he can give me anything that i want. i told him that i am scared. it's hard coz i know that i have always wanted to be a mum at some point, but he has no feelings like that.

the more we talked, the more we went round and round in circles. though he did say that he always thought the babies would just happen (id be sick, pill wouldn't work etc) and it doesn't want to plan it!

This changed things- but i did point out that there would still have to be a decision somewhere along the line that we were ready!

so yet again we are back to square 1. he is concerned that he is holding me back from the things that i want in life- which to be honest it the first time he has actually admitted that!

He also called me lazy! this did not go down well. also making comments about how im overweight. way to make a girl feel special. he blames this as one reason why i am always tired. though i was quick to point out, i have always needed a lot of sleep... i just used to do it whilst he was at work!!!

so- not sure where we go from here. he has suggested that we could take a break from living together and it would force us to make more of an effort- but to be honest, that would just feel like we are going backwards.

so here we are... not quite knowing what to do next.... knowing that I love him with all my heart....
BUT  I want to get married and have babies
x

Take That

countdown to viewing........ a week on Friday!!!! I cannot wait.
Mum is coming up to visit, the tickets have arrived and Im very excited!!!!
x

Why are mums always right?

She told me to just stick things out and a job would come along!

Now it has, and I have finally handed my notice in and I am sooooo happy!!!

the job I went for a few months back? well, they called me and asked if I was still interested!!!

So come 20th june, I will be there, in my new job! wooooooooooooooo

So I only have to work 16 more days in that place! and although I will be really sad to say bye to some people, I am really looking forward to a new challenge and hopefully being much happier than i am now!!!!!!!

Its going to come round soooo quickly!!! wooooooooooooo

the problem with bf's

Who want to think they are forever Peter pan means that they will never want to grow up.

we'r still together.....

not sure if it was the right choice.

people keep saying that he'l never change,

I want to believe he will

but I don't want to wait forever

even now it is obvious that things aren't right

what a mess!

not sure what to do, but i want things to go back to the way they were

but I can't see how they can, not now he has been so honest about marriage!

i guess I always thought we both wanted the same things

what if we dont?

I want to die!

OMG-
i want to die
i can't live without him
why can't he see that!

head fucked

What to do-why does life have to be soo difficult.

He is the love of my life... full on I want marriage and babies...

but he doesn't.

I don't think it is something I am willing to give up.

and I don't think he will ever change.

I mean we have talked about it before... plenty of times. and he has always said that it would happen. then comes the bombshell, he doesn't know if he will ever be ready.

I know it is what i want. and I have always been honest about that.

What do i do now. I don't know whether to stay and keep hoping that one day he will change his mind.

or to cut my losses now

Life is shit!

Welshy Angel

Actually have had enough now

FML.... I don't think I can take this much more. soo toally fed up of this place! Was hoping to be out of here by now and it just keeps on getting worse and worse....

A course... yea sure I don't mind... except when it comes with mountains of paperwork and a 1500 word essay.. am pretty sure i graduated university 2 years ago...2 fucking years ago! so what the hell would I want to be writing fucking essays for?!?! if i wanted to do that then i would have gon back to uni!!!! surely! not sure if there is any way to fight this at all... but I know that I do not want to be here.. so what the hell is the point in sending me... they surely must realise that now ... need to get on a major job hunt :( i want to cry

x

when did manners not matter?

OMG... seriously, how rude are people these days.
obvs didn't get that job, ok so no biggy, just move on and keep applying for jobs and improving my experience skills.

So I am still waiting for a letter... so rang up to ask for feedback as to be honest, after a week its just a little bit rude!

i called and said.. its been a week etc

i asked to speak to the manager

and the girl on the phone was like why

so i explained...

she then said.. oh well.. have u had ur letter? I said no... but its been a week, and even with a letter i would still like feedback

fair enough right?

so she was like.. well, wait until you get a letter, it was posted yesterday...(seriously... the interviews were last wed!)

so i said.. oh, does it give some feedback in it?

and she was like... i dont know, you'll have to wait until it arrives

and i said, well i just want some feedback as i feel its valuable when going for more interviews,

seriously, i have never been spoken to in such a disgusting manner

soo glad i didn't get it.. could you imagine working with her!

In a way I am actually thinking that this may well have been a blessing in disguise as there is no way I could ever imagine working with someone like that... get enough of that where I am now!!!

Welshy Angel
x

devastated

so, I had a job interview yesterday and I thought it had gone really really well... I guess that sometimes things aren't always the way it seems as I would have heard today if I had not been successful. i am actually sat here trying very hard not to cry about it... because I am heartbroken as I knew that I would have been sooo good at that job! not sure what to do or where to go from here.....

I can't stand being in this job another day and the thought that i have failed at a 2nd interview just means I am at a complete loss as to what I can do....

Welshy Angel
x

I sometimes really wonder what I am doing in this job... I hate it, and my boss has a habbit of making it far worse than it ever needs to be!!!!!!!! Have just emailed one of the girls I get on really well with, and I cba re writing the strory so have copied and pasted below!:

Grrrrr, he is such a dick. Accuses me of being inflexible... yet iv never said no to an after college event until now. He rekons 2 weeks is ample notice... I argued that its not when wayne gets his rotas 4 weeks in advance! also- winging about me refusing to drive to schools-I did that once... coz I had no petrol-apparently I should budget better!!! I had a go at him saying I can't afford to buy food-how can I budget money that I don't have. and then I cried coz i feel so pants. Also argued that I can't even afford to go home... when my brother is getting married and they are having a baby! He got me sooo mad and rilled up. Should have seen the look on his face when I said- your not going to like this then... and handed him my form for interview. He asked what it was for-i said that I would rather not say... but its not at a rival college.... Kinda said its not in education as well- which to be honest it isn't, it is in care! :) 

So thats the tale of the meeting... Im NOT going to a certain but apprently Im not flexible enough and need to try harder. etc. 

Oh.... but he did say that he knows that I am working really hard and I do get inolved in things such as the EcoFest and trips to Cambridge etc.. if thats not being flexible then I don't know what is. I pointed out that in all fairness, if it wasn't open evening next week then I could have not gone to Brownies-but I can't find cover 2 weeks in a row-he told me that if brownies is going to get in the way of my job then he may have to ask me to give it up!..

U have no idea how angry I am right now!!!!!!!!! 

So there we have it: i need to be more flexible. Well, heres hoping that I keep applying for jobs and get more interviews-tho what I really want is this job! eeek! Fingers crossed.! 

another complain

This time to royal mail who evidently seem to be completely incompetent at delivering mail! and answering phones in order to establish where ones mail has gone! So follows an irrate email to royal mail asking where the hell my recorded delivery item has vanished too. x

Passport photos

I have just heard the oddest comment about passport photos. Someone in the office has just said 'i look rather hot in my passport photo' I am pretty sure that everyone hates their passport photo don't they?!?! I look forward to the day that I can change mine as i look sooo different from when it was taken back at the tender age of 15! haha

Fed up of not being able to park!

So i finally reached breaking point after Friday! I watched as some fool tried (bless him he really did) to parallel park on our road! and hit W's car-then left his car half in the road so we couldn't get the car out!! :( So I have now decided to ask the council when and what they are going to do about it!

Please see what i wrote-I was rather impressed!

Dear Sir/Madam, 

I have a query that I was hoping someone would be able to answer. A couple of months ago, a policeman came around our street to talk about parking etc-a lot of residents are leaving cones out to stop people parking there who work in town and don't want to pay in the park and ride.

 Unfortunately, I live on a street that has no restrictions, and it is very frustrating to know that when I go to work in the morning, there is someone who is not a resident waiting to jump into my space as soon as i leave. I cannot finish work early as I know that I will have nowhere to park my car on my return as the road, and those surrounding it are filled by cars. I find this ridiculous as there are 2 perfectly good park and ride facilities just around the corner that I am pretty sure most of these people must drive past on their way to my road! I live on Langton Street-where the only roads nearby that have restrictions are Christchurch and Hartington road. Somebody even parked their car half in the middle of the road on friday and blocked 2 parked cars so we had to call the police to move it (after he had hit a car whilst trying to park) 

There are many people who have resorted to putting notes in their window as they are evidently finding it frustrating as well. If you go out at any point during the week day, you can guarantee that you cannot park when you get back. We have a motorbike, and when not in use it is kept in the shed- however you have to plan when you are going to get it out and try and park blocking the alleyway inbetween the 2 houses otherwise you can be stuck for days not being able to get it out, when this is the main form of transport for getting to work you can imagine how frustrating it is. We will no longer leave the bike parked in the street as some idiot managed to reverse into it because she didn't see it/hear it when she pushed it over a metre and up onto the curb! 

The policeman that came round was understanding of those putting out cones-it is frustrating if you get back from work to find that you cannot even park in your own street, and he assured us that there were plans for it to be permitted this year. Would it be possible to find out when his will be? 

I understand that parking in Preston is expensive, but It is the same people parked on out street everyday like clockwork and it gets really frustrating when all you want to do when you get home is park and get in the warm house, and you have to drive round for ages just to get a parking space. 

Thank you in anticipation of your response.